


Company

by squalamander



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26417104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squalamander/pseuds/squalamander
Summary: Spy overthinks himself to oblivion. Lucky for him, the Engineer is Engi-here.
Relationships: Engineer/Spy (Team Fortress 2)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 44





	Company

Spy was a lonely person. A cold and lonely person. He was malicious in nature, frankly at times thinking he was better than others; being better off without others came almost second nature. Eventually, he nestled himself uncomfortably in bitterness and self-loathing, of cigarette smoke and silk. A fate no less fitting and aching awaited someone so cruel. He liked to be alone, he wanted to be alone, and he deserved to be alone.

So why would Engineer of all people approach him? Spy was nothing like Dell could be; cautious where he was charismatic, frustrated where he was friendly, spiteful where he was social. The Texan radiated positivity, warmth, comfort, nothing that Spy would even care to offer. In fact, he even rebuffed Engie’s initial friendly advances, defining him a hick and a laborer, and frankly the notion of acting nice, taking pity on poor, lonesome Spy was offensive. What surprised the Frenchman was that the Engineer kept trying, and somehow along the way it finally occurred to Spy that it wasn’t sympathy or obligation, but genuine kindness. He found himself admiring Dell, adoring their conversations, eventually falling in love. 

The dapper hermit found his lifestyle changed as he investigated whether Engie loved him back. Spy found himself at his wit’s end pining at night, yearning for the next interaction with his object of his infatuation. He loved Engie so much his heart hurt, he loved that sweet smile and bashful thanks when receiving gifts, that aura of reassurance that he carried about him, that passion and enthusiasm for his interests. Spy threw himself into the pining pursuit of love, and by God he felt relieved and lucky that Engineer loved him back. 

But occasionally Spy would find himself desperately nitpicking his traits, why would Engineer like him, love him even? The thought that Engie would one day, somehow, see how horrible he was loomed over him when he was alone. 

Tonight had been one of those nights, Spy curled up in his room, stressed, smoking and self-loathing. Finally he heard the unmistakable patter of Engineer’s footsteps, returning from his workshop to Spy’s room. He breathed a sigh of relief.

“Honey, I’m home!” Engineer announced, arms raised like a sitcom character. Not met with a laugh from his darling, he spotted Spy sulking in the corner of the bed. Immediately his expression softened, “Y’alright, pardner? Must be awful claustrophobic, cooped up here with your own thoughts.” 

Spy, Dell knew, tended to be a self-loathing thinker; they’ve talked about it before, on those cold, lonely nights where they poured their hearts out and snuggled their worries away. But right now, the poor thing, all lonely n’ steeping in bitterness, just like a cold cup of coffee. The fact that he bundled himself in a blanket made Engie just want to scoop him up and kiss him until he felt better. 

“Feeling alone again?” Engineer murmured gently, setting his helmet and goggles on the nightstand. “Did you miss me?” 

Especially to someone as arrogant and secretive as Spy, expressing vulnerabilities turned out not to be his strong suit. But Dell carried with him a genuineness that made Spy know he could trust him, and over the course of their relationships, the two trusted one another with their most guarded weaknesses.

“I did miss you,” Spy conceded. He bit his lip tentatively, “I'm lonely without you.”

“I missed you too, darlin’,” Engie crooned, kissing Spy’s hand gently. “And it seems like you’ve got a whole lot more goin’ on back there. What’s on your mind tonight, Slim?”

With a deep sigh, Spy clutched Engineer’s hand tightly. He already felt tears welling up, how humiliating. But it was a moment of weakness he would only allow Dell to see.

“I am afraid that somehow I have deceived you,” Spy started, “that one day you will finally see through whatever ruse I've made up and see me for who I am. And when that day comes, I am afraid…” He hesitated, blinking back tears. “I am afraid that you will hate me.”

“Now, you’re just thinkin’ too hard. I deal with Spies all the time, I’ve got a keen eye for liars. And despite what you do for a livin’, you just ain’t lying to me right now. You never have, and you never will. I love you, darling, and I know you love me back.”

“Hm…” Spy still felt unconvinced. Dell recognized this and started again.

“Slim, you’ve heard my thoughts on ‘beauty,’ a thousand times, ain’t ya?”

“I have,” Spy said quietly.

“Well I think you’re beautiful.”

Spy let out a chuckle at Engie’s earnest tone. “Of course I am,” he let his ego take the reins. “Care to tell me more?”

“I think you’ve got a real handsome face, sock ‘n all.” Spy scoffed amusedly. “I think your figure’s real nice. You're real lean, Slim, heh, and it’s awfully nice to wrap my arms around.” To prove his point, he pulled Spy closer and planted a kiss on his cheek. 

“Is superficiality in line with your philosophy, mon cher?” 

“Glad you’re feelin’ better enough to banter, hon.” Gently, Engie caressed Spy’s cheek. His hand moved to Spy’s neck, motioning to take the balaclava off.

“A good spy has a tongue as sharp as his knife.” Spy’s hands met Engie at the bottom of the mask.

“Heh, of course you do.” Together, they gently pulled Spy’s balaclava off. Engie smiled at his lover’s mussed up hair and exposed face. “But one last thing,” he said. “My favorite thing about you ‘s your eyes.” Dell’s warm gaze soothed Spy’s heart. “They’re drop dead gorgeous.”

“Hah! Is it because I am the only one who you make eye contact with, when you finally take those goggles off?” Spy remarked, the blush on his face betraying his tone. 

“Let me finish. I like ‘em cause they let me see right through you. And not like how you use that lil’ watch of yours to turn yourself clear. You know, there’s a whole lotta debate that where the soul comes from n’ what it does when we die. A busy, workin’ man like me don’t need to take any part of that. But I do agree with one thing about a soul, and that the eyes are the window to it. And I know, just from your eyes that you love me.”

Spy smiled, disbelief melting away. “Show me,” he murmured.

Shuffling closer, Engie moved his face close to Spy’s. “Look away from me for a second. Right, now look back here.” He beamed, “Your pupils dilated.” 

Engineer gently pressed their lips together before continuing.

“That’s how I know you love me. Your pupils only dilate like that when you're lookin’ right at someone you love.” 

“C’est incroyable!” Spy was enchanted at the revelation. “Your eyes would do the same, would they not?”

“Let’s test it out, Slim.” They repeated the procedure with Engineer's eyes. 

“They dilated…” Spy’s voice was a lovestruck sigh. 

“An’ that proves I love ya back.” Engineer was glad to see a smile from his lover. “And I don’t even need to be close enough to see your pupils. The way you look at me is so gosh darn adorable, it’s like if I asked the doc for an x-ray I could see your heart melt right then and there.”

With a small laugh, Spy wiped his eyes and kissed Engineer. “Thank you, Dell.”

“Anytime, Slim.”

“You always know what to say in moments like these. I'm very lucky to have you,” Spy murmured, leaning his head on Dell’s shoulder. “You always find a way to reassure me.”

“I’m lucky to have you too. You’re somethin’ special, and I’m glad that I’m able to show you how much you mean to me.” Engie thought for a moment. 

“Let me tell you something that I like to do when I’m tinkerin’ with my machines.” 

“But of course.” Spy rubbed small circles on Engie’s palm with his thumb.

“When I get stuck on a problem, a real big problem with no practical solution in sight, I like to focus on something else n’ come back to it later.” 

“I believe this problem falls under the ‘conundrums of my philosophy’ instead,” jested Spy.

“Got me there, slim. You’re worlds apart from any ol’ hunk a metal. A whole lot sadder too.”

“Thank you, I try.” Spy smirked, proceeding to nuzzle Engineer’s neck.

“What I’m getting at is this: let’s go back to what you were talkin’ about earlier. About you being lonely. Let’s see if you feel any different now.”

Spy pondered for a moment, then smiled.

“I am lonely, but I feel complete around you.” Spy watched Engineer’s smile grow as he said this. “You complete me, my love.”

Engie chuckled, giving Spy another kiss. 

“You complete me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> The pupil dilating thing is real, and very sweet. My girlfriend showed it to me and it holds a special place in my heart. It's heartwarming to see how that your partner loves you, and vice versa, and the closeness that it requires makes it all the more intimate. I recommend you try it with your loved one when you get the chance!


End file.
